You chose…poorly.

Hey, who told you to stop?

I'll have you know that my girlfriend is very real. She just lives two towns over, which is probably why you and all the other commenters have never seen her.

Ashamed? A Sullustan co-piloted the Falcon in the second death star assault. Show some goddamn respect.

EW has confirmed that Selmy was the character they were referring to:

During the world cup, my wife and I used to do the chant with our 2 year old daughter to get her excited during the games. A few weeks later, we saw a news story about some anti-immigrant protesters that included a clip of them doing the USA chant at a bus full of undocumented children. My daughter joined right in…

For the rest of us, marriage just feels like a punishment.

WOO, USA, USA, U…I can't do this anymore.

Hey, in some parts of Africa, being gay is punishable by death. If anything, we're only on the JV squad.

As a Dan, I'd also like to clarify that I have not achieved the rank of Lieutenant and there is no need to address me as such.

I once worked with a guy who found that scene very interesting. So interesting that he somehow found a way to work it into conversations at least once every few weeks.

Never let it be said that @icecreamplanet:disqus doesn't know how to party.

*makes whip cracking noise at your boyfriend, exchanges high fives with all the other guys*

The Caps managed to surprise all their fans by not choking in game 7, which will make their collapse in the second round even more heartbreaking. When you're a DC sports fan, a little bit of success just makes you dread the inevitable failure even more.

So long and thanks for all the shit.

*immediately stops sucking it, looks around nervously to see if anybody noticed*

On my list for the summer:

I was once sitting in the waiting room of a dentist's office while Arthur was playing on the TV. The kid sitting next to me casually mentioned that he wanted to murder Arthur. His mom didn't seem at all concerned with that statement. Now, whenever I see anything about that show, all I can think about is that weird…

Fun fact: Cheetos dust has an official name: "cheetle". Now you just need to spend years waiting for another cheeto related newswire, bust out that fact, and watch the upvotes come rolling in.

We studied his clash of civilizations essay in my intro International Affairs class. I took that class during the buildup to the Iraq war, so the class discussions on that essay were lots of fun.