Not according to those jerks in HR.

You know you've made some poor decisions in your life when you're a 30 year old "self-described “court jester” and “joker,”

That's a really good point. Rather than jumping to conclusions based on a person's name or outward appearance, we should take the time to reflect on the various different immigrant experiences that have helped to shape our nation.

Actually, I take it all back. My favorite part of the show is when a contestant bids $1 more than the next highest bid…but they're not the last person that gets to bid.

The best part of the show is watching the contestants feign excitement when they realize they could potentially win a ping-pong table, exercise bike, etc.

The no-pants look will be particularly graphic.

Suckers…I've got you all right where I want you.

You and I went to very different high schools.

My sister-in-law blogs about gay weddings. Almost 100% of her site traffic comes from people looking for porn.

If you ask me, he was the real king of Queens all along.

How do you feel about animals trying to get you to eat a different species? Those Chik-fil-a cows always seemed like a bunch of sadistic assholes.

Dang, thought I finally found an explanation for some of the things I witnessed on restroom cleaning duty when I used to work at a restaurant.

So does the triple decker involve smearing crap all over the outside of the tank as well?

Halfway through the game, are there suddenly new possible suspects that have never been mentioned before?

I can't even call myself a fan anymore. The whole pizza manual industry has gotten too commercial. It's not even about the pizzas anymore.

My, uh, friend, heard about the general concept from some kids at school, but somehow missed the motion part. My friend, who definitely wasn't me, just sort of stood there grabbing it and wondering what the big deal was the first few times.

They'll probably just call you a poser and say you probably don't even like the Smashing Pumpkins or Marilyn Manson.

I never had a mushroom cut, but I did have mushroom cut envy. It just wouldn't work with my hair, and I always thought the guys in my class that did have one just looked so cool.

Oh, I get it now. You're saying that Knifey James wants to sleep with my wife.

I think it's less them being unlucky and more them failing to realize that public opinion has turned against them for good, hopefully. Those other states were able to get their anti-gay stuff in while it was still socially acceptable, and even advantageous on election day, to hate gay people.