Are you selling something?

I'm afraid I'm not quite following you.

I don't know, but he's the goddamn King of the Sock Monkeys, so we'd better get this right.

Dinosaur nerds need to be able to tell people "Well actually, they should have called it Cretaceous Park…" Don't take this from us.

That sounds like a really complicated joke.

I never realized Elephant and Castle was a chain. I could always feel my Irish ancestors rolling over in their graves a little whenever I walked by on St. Patrick's Day to see it packed with people celebrating an Irish holiday in a British themed pub.

When I used to work in food service, I was tempted to take up smoking. For some reason, a cigarette break is this weird sacrosanct privilege that nobody will mess with. My request to just go stand outside and not work for 5 minutes were viewed less favorably.

I suspect B.G. Henne needs more practice working his Newswire writing machine.

There was a great SNL sketch back in the 90s when the Sopranos first blew up that involved critics all trying to one-up each other in their Sopranos love. My Googling skills don't seem up to par, as I can't actually find it, but I remember it escalating to something like a critic choosing to watch just one second of…

Deadline is going to have a field day with this.

How well can you quote 20 year old Simpsons episodes from memory?

I'm the same way. The more passionate the fanbase, the less likely I am to check it out. I avoided Breaking Bad for years due solely to how over the top people in my facebook feed were about it. I did eventually give in and watch it, and I regret my decision not to be a part of it as it was happening, though.

We should all probably avoid the comments section on the "For Our Consideration" articles that week.

I've been saying "ree..cy..cling?" pretty much every time I have to take out the recycling. Since that's once a week, I calculate that I must have made the joke over 900 times since the episode aired in 1997. In your face, law of diminishing returns, it's just as hilarious now as it was back then!

The intended audience is people who say, "What, the hell, I'll just get 'em that stupid egg thing" after unsuccessfully trying to find a better gift idea elsewhere in the store.

Hey, you guys can all just work by Google, and you won't have to worry about inadequate office kitchen equipment. Plus it'll be the most financially rewarding you've had!

Ok, that makes sense. That place always seems like a dump when I drive by it. I was originally thinking of Pentagon City, and was confused. I went there one Christmas season and considered it a personal victory that I didn't end up murdering somebody.

Out of curiosity, which mall are you talking about (the empty one)? My wife likes going to malls, but I generally loathe humanity.

I made good use of the "Slow" button on my VCR for that particular scene.

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