I reserve the right to take back this upvote if it turns out you're serious.

On a Sunday morning sidewalk,
I'm wishing, Lord, that I was stoned.
'Cause there's something in a Sunday
That makes a body feel alone.
And there's nothing short a' dying
That's half as lonesome as the sound
Of the sleeping city sidewalk
And Sunday morning coming down

Good point. It's probably unfair on my part to judge somebody for what has to be an intensely personal and difficult decision.

What exactly are the Travolta rumors? Do we think he's just garden-variety gay, or is there some sort of weird fish fetish type thing? Seems like in 2015, just being gay should no longer have the blackmail value it used to have.

I don't think we need to worry about the girls. My sources on the playground inform me that they've all gone to Jupiter to get stupider.

And how come there's no White History m…

Boooo

You'd just end up firing off your proton torpedoes 30 seconds into the flight.

Let's just split the difference and say he found killing Jesus "mildly irritating".

The cold ones are a given. I haven't settled on which outrageously unhealthy food I'm going to shove down my pie hole without fear of other human beings judging me.

Sorting by "newest" did the trick. Please accept this upvote as a token of my gratitude.

Back in my lurking days, I used to roll my eyes a little at all the Disqus comments. Figured it couldn't be too bad. Now that I'm commenting more frequently…holy crap, disqus sucks. Anybody have any advice on restoring lost comments? It randomly stopped showing pretty much everything that's been posted after the…

I know the feeling. I've stopped telling transplanted New Yorkers that I actually grew up in Northern New Jersey. It doesn't get them to shut up about it, and then they start treating you like that annoying kid brother that's trying to hang out with the big kids.

My wife decided to visit her parents with our 2-month old daughter for a few days this week, leaving me home alone until I join them this weekend. Things are gonna get CRAZY!*

If you do leave New York, I believe you'll be legally obligated to tell everybody around you about how they do things in New York at every possible opportunity. Don't worry, the rest of the country is very interested to hear about it.

This job must be hot! They don't need an actual ad or even correct spelling and grammar. Maybe I'll finally be able to afford that Lotus Elan I've been wanting.

I demand a full Congressional investigation!

Counterpoint: BRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCE!

You should probably avoid looking into the kitchen of any restaurant you've ever been to.

I too was distracted from the tension in that scene by the awesome looking food Tuco was cooking up.