Ever wish you came up with a cooler form of magical communication than attaching notes to owls? boring old muggle email seems light years ahead of the magical community.

I feel bad for people who use Adblock on this site. You'll never get to find out what's wrong with that picture of a guy with a huge spider on his hand. (Spoiler alert: It's probably that he has a huge goddam spider on his hand.)

They'll care if it feeds into their insatiable need to feel persecuted.

Won't somebody please think of the insurance companies!

The turnpike has a rest stop named for Walt Whitman. Ever time you drive by it, you can yell "damn you Walt freakin Whitman!" Let's see another state top that!

Good luck, we're all counting on you (or your significant other, whichever one of you is the pregnant one)

Thanks, it's a girl.

My wife just had a baby this morning. We actually went into the hospital last night to have an induction, since the baby was allegedly not close to being ready, and as soon as they hooked up the first monitor, she went into labor naturally.

I still think "3, 2, 1, 1, 2, 3, what the heck is bothering me?" about once a week. They earned that Family Matters writing credit money, dammit.

I loved that show so much, I willingly ate at Subway.

I've always been partial to Goblet of Fire. Shit gets real at the end of that one. To me it's the official transition from a children's book series to something a bit more mature.

The ratio of bathrooms to guest bedrooms is a little troubling. Do you expect your guests to share like common peasants?

Anybody here friends with George RR Martin on facebook? If so, could you please passive-aggressively post that link in your status and tag him? It always works out wonderfully when my in-laws do that

IMDB also suggested "Living on One Dollar", a documentary about poverty in rural Guatemala. We could have taken this in two very different directions, but I think we both know we made the right choice.

However, you actually can dust for vomit.

I must have a different version than you. My book talks about bears sitting on chairs next

In the great green room there was a telephone and a red balloon and a picture of the cow jumping over the moon…I guess you'll just have to take my word for it that I'm not cheating.

Does that include about 4 minutes 30 seconds of crying? Because I really can't see how else we get to five full minutes.

Also, the mouse is eating it on one page. That'd be a bigger concern than it just being in close proximity to a brush.

Ten times? I read that book to my daughter for months. I can still recite it by memory without even opening it.