If Sarah catches wind of this, you guys, we're in trouble you betcha.

Frank Langella and Ted Danson thought there was something good about whoopie with Whoopi.

Chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature.

"American Idol" and "The Idiot"

They will be yar, Titus.

In Soviet Russia, The Situation is…ah crap, I got nothin'.

We'll definitely be hearing more from Teeny next season. I'll be she's going to turn into the next Cindy—she just wants to be a regular conservative Republican Mormon, and she hates this polygamist lifestyle.

I know! I hope Frank has some new respect for Lois after last week's arm choppin'.

Especially in the middle of a tight campaign! "Oh hey, voters, my wife didn't mean that thing about Utah women being drug addicts, and oh, yeah, my brother killed the Juniper Creek Prophet."

And as we all know, he with the tetherball skills gets the women.

I think Barb was trying to talk herself *out* of taking pills. She's falling apart, but unlike most of the female population in Utah—it has the nation's highest rates of depression—doesn't want to turn to medication to solve her problems. She just wants the rest of her family to behave!

And in other developments, Billie Jean was NOT Michael Jackson's lover. Instead, her child was created via artificial insemination.

No, its Sir David Attenborough. Carly, like the rest of us, is sick and tired of him pretending he's in charge of Life and Planet Earth.

My insult was directed at Arsenio, but if you want to get hit by some shrapnel, fine. Real men have scars!

No, but we can make it so.

(There's bass fishing in eastern Montana, Dr. Acula. But yeah, it's not what we're known for, and a REAL MANLY MAN would already be hip to that.)

Fuck all of you! Rhubarb pie is the best.

I dare you to call that silverback gorilla over there eating a banana a nancy boy, CN!

Bananas are manly, duh

Basically cream and melted chocolate. And when the Butch Bakery says they use cream, they mean….