I think anyplace calling itself the Butch Bakery needs to cater to dykes, not bros. This is only common sense.

I'VE ABANDONED MY CUPCAKE

Gold bond medicated powder and Old Spice?

Hold on, I have to jot these witty comments in my Moleskine.

They couldn't make the cupcakes with PBR—instead of men, they'd get hipsters.

Ten to one that gourmet pb&j shop has a sandwich with bacon on it.

Jesus. First you call me a girl, and then you offer me tofu. You're gonna make me cry, Lobsters.

Shame on me? Shame on you, Concrete.

"Everything is Kung Fu"
Right now, I'm kung-fu-ing the shit out of this burrito!

Every public school's "zero tolerance" policy will now be enforced by Jackie Chan. Bring an aspirin to school and give it to a friend? Tuck a Sharpie into your pocket and pretend it's a gun? Doodle on your desk? Forget it, the principal's callin' in Jackie Chan to KICK YOUR ASS.

Take off your pants. Take off your underpants.

I'm sorry, but it isn't a thread about racism and politics without Lobsters and our newest conservative troll A Gray Man. Otherwise, it's just a bunch of smartasses hurling witty remarks. We need anger. We need focus.

Where's that? Chick-Fil-A?

Heart always gets a pass from me for Dreamboat Annie.

What, no love for Big Love?

Forget it, Santos. Just send an Indian princess up to collect your award and flip the Academy off. It's still a classic move.

Because it's harder to get out of the house and down to the bar, where most people in relationships sit alone and brood about the mistake they've made over several beers.

I like the way you think, DPA!

I also feel bad for the hundreds of thousands of Iraqis who had to die so we could finish our business with Saddam rather than devote all our resources to Afghanistan.

No, Clark's right. That was a sloppily worded sentence.