Amy Winehouse
is always second on my dead pool.

On the snout that comment is.

Your vitriol is my coffee, ladies and gents. Please up the ante. More CancerAIDS, please. Your insults are anemic much like my firstie.

Was this his first number one opening?
Or was it his second?

My firstie hymen being broken was an epic fail. Admittedly.

I suppose CancerAIDS is in order for my sandbagging my first firstie attempt?

Fightin round the world
Everyone knows Ol' Tugger was used to cart the Jews around Europe during WWII.

Not first
But not last

And Tunde was in Rachel Getting Married. That gives it extra indie cred, yes? Please, god, say it does.

Who said anything about being confused? WE'RE ALL FRIENDS HERE!

First defense of Etsy weddings so far. It's an Etsy wedding. Bring your moms. Or dads. Or moleskines. Or all.

Really? I thought it was "Tu habla Ingles, senora? No? Me neither."

Your hipster comment to this hipster event regarding all things hipster has caused my feeble mind duress. I'm off to read Pitchfork and question my viability as a human being. Oh, and then to McSweeney's where I will masturbate for every smarmy reference to someone's privileged but not so privileged upbringing.

Indeed. Much better than Camp Ignorant Penis, which has recently been relocated to Sandusky, Ohio.

Yez, but…
will the celebration for Jack White's impending divorce from his alter ego "Chauncey Walrustity" be nearly as pithy and delightfully irreverent?

Over/Under
How many comments will contain gratuitous use of the words "camp" and "vagina" and "brilliance" in the same feverishly typed sentence?

First obligatory gut laugh of the morn', Rich Tanguy. Much appreciated.

Lacking…
Sound and the Fury
A Confederacy of Dunces
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time
Dune
The Lorax
The Watchmen

Completely different context, love. Obviously that author is saying something smells like socks and sadness. I'm saying Oberst sings like he's wearing nothing but socks and sadness. Besides, if I'm going to plagiarize to make fun of someone it certainly won't be Conor Oberst. It would have to be someone like Colin…

I'll sacrifice the hobbit's life if it means Kim Kardashian's jiggly ass stays the fuck off my television.