Yeah, I fuckin' got a divorce attorney on the phone when my wife bought both Legally Blonde DVDs instead that Ingmar Bergman box set I told her to get. Shit.

at least if it was a cock..
she might know what to do with it.

anyways..
"it's not a pure and beautiful place… and that's where [the bullshit] I'm doing is coming from right now."

universe, it's me ivan
When I finally decide to seek salvation and cosmic guidance, I'm glad to know all I'll have to do is flip to the Arts and Entertainment section of USA Today.

POOPBUTT
At least they died not having seen that shit-clip. *shudder*

Just when i thought we'd hit rock bottom with tony parker…
you go and assault us with this…

owwie
My jaw hurts from grinding my teeth for 4 minutes straight.

That's dick vitale
But nevertheless, if you asked him, all ACC basketball teams have mastered The Secret.

i'm picking up good vibrations
Has anyone else seen that cute, coming-of-age comedy, "What the Bleep Do We Know?" about a deaf wedding photographer who is harassed by poorly-drawn negativity blobs and ends up drawing on herself with toothpaste? Wasn't there a sequel? Is "The Secret" the third part of the trilogy? I…

oh pretty lady!
Betty Friedan… wasn't Betty Boop based off of her? ;)

ROFLSANDWICH
Are we certain that the EMO news broadcast isn't a fake? It's just… TOO ignorant. That being said, I laughed my fucking ass off.

BAG REVIEW
I found this Chanel Bag review not very helpful. I purchased this bag after reading Mary-Kate's sublime—no—neat evaluation. As it turned out, the detail was actually "cool", NOT "subtle". Now I am sad. This probably happens about five times a week.

it's called pop culture love letters for a reason
I believe pretty much all of pop culture is rather easy pickings. It's not what we hate, it's how we hate it. If you're going to rip on The Hater, at least let it be in defense of the poor Olsen twin.

Finally.
And now… the cast of "Something's Gotta Give" announces "The Departed" as Best Picture. But who is this dude accepting the award? Booyah—go Marty.

Speak Forrest, Speak!
Oi! I thought Peter O'Toole was going to have an aneurysm… poor old fart. Now… on to Scorsese getting stiffed again…

I recently tried to commit suicide…
but I forgot the extension cord to the toaster. Fucking Sunshine SHUT UP.

"Beer gut" is the new "Black"
J. Hudson and Abigail Breslin are SO hot right now.

Little Miss Mediocrity + Dreamgirls = OMGWTFBBQ11!1!!
This Dreamgirls performance has me filling the bath with hot water… One more award for Little Miss Sunshine and I'm diving in headfirst with toaster.

Slopey
I feel sorrier for Slopey. :)

Understanding, logic, reasoning..
These are all detrimental to truly appreciating Britney Spears as an artist and as a person. Brit-addiction rots the brain worse than crystal meth does the teeth. I have female acquaintances in their early to mid twenties whom still obsess over whether Justin Timberlake and Britney…