An yet, no one, the fact remains that Sherlock doesn't do those to the male characters, he does them to the female character.

Out of your whole "list the things Sherlock has subjected Joan to over the course of the first season" the only thing on there that doesn't sound exactly how he would treat a guy in the same position is the vagina comment. 
But she's not a male character. You can't on the one hand argue that gender-switching Watson…

a sharp contrast to BBC Sherlock's Watson, who pretty much lets Sherlock abuse him willy-nilly. (Drugging him during Season 2, anybody?)