Also being yelled at by Android users for having an iPhone and hating freedom. I can't believe buying a fucking phone has become some sort of a moral choice. I have no lawn yet, but when I do, those damn kids better stay the hell off it.

I used to think that too, until I realized … I was that friend.

I used to think that too, until I realized … I was that friend.

You Might Recall, this is The Land of Confusion. Like it or Not.

You Might Recall, this is The Land of Confusion. Like it or Not.

I went to a Jim Carroll reading when I was in college, and he "debuted" some of his "newer stuff". Later that year, I read "Portnoy's complaint" for the first time and realized that he'd just recited the chapter with the liver steak. His reading was hilarious, though, and he'd gotten a really awful haircut, which made…

I went to a Jim Carroll reading when I was in college, and he "debuted" some of his "newer stuff". Later that year, I read "Portnoy's complaint" for the first time and realized that he'd just recited the chapter with the liver steak. His reading was hilarious, though, and he'd gotten a really awful haircut, which made…

Turning into a goblin probably engenders some shrinkage.

Turning into a goblin probably engenders some shrinkage.

"Spread Your Wings" is a rock ballad by Queen, from their 1977 album News of the World. Written by bassist John Deacon, it was released as the A side of the single Spread Your Wings/Sheer Heart Attack in 1978. The lyrics of the song describe a troubled young man named Sammy who works at The Emerald Bar, sweeping the…

"Spread Your Wings" is a rock ballad by Queen, from their 1977 album News of the World. Written by bassist John Deacon, it was released as the A side of the single Spread Your Wings/Sheer Heart Attack in 1978. The lyrics of the song describe a troubled young man named Sammy who works at The Emerald Bar, sweeping the…

He probably won't either, without anger management classes.

Well, you were probably too starstruck after the Guns n' Roses appearance.

Well, you were probably too starstruck after the Guns n' Roses appearance.

@avclub-e463f97ca6bc46b1ba706474e108c7e1:disqus Looks like Dougherty is getting ready for that Roseanne Barr biopic.

@avclub-e463f97ca6bc46b1ba706474e108c7e1:disqus Looks like Dougherty is getting ready for that Roseanne Barr biopic.

To be fair, @avclub-230e46d19fe78a6c8dc715659a7188d7:disqus , at least Corey Feldman looks better than Corey Haim nowadays.

To be fair, @avclub-230e46d19fe78a6c8dc715659a7188d7:disqus , at least Corey Feldman looks better than Corey Haim nowadays.

Leprechaun 7: Laissez les Bon Temps rouler!

Leprechaun 7: Laissez les Bon Temps rouler!