How do you afford these things??!!

Can you make a Christmas wish for a painful death or is that not permitted?

Fucking Fireproof.

I'll bone your house.

You know, this is a good idea. I read The Big Rewind and liked it, but all through it I was thinking it could use more 'splosions.

Swinton is "oddly" attractive, period.

I hope the chubby hooker from White Bear Lake is in it (go Bears).

"Today's fashionable parents think of their children as extensions of themselves," says Tami Dimmerman. "And we here at Le Baby Inc. want to encourage this shift in our childrearing paradigm. Children aren't individual human beings that need to be raised in a nurturing, supportive environment, they're lifestyle…

This article is too remote to make an effective demonstration - but don't worry; we will deal with your nerd friends soon enough.

Or…
Half man… half beast… trapped in a film forgotten by time!

Question:
"there are literally thousands upon thousands of other, less dangerous, more enjoyable, less degrading, more-long-term…careers."

He was okay in Jarhead. I think I'm the only person who liked Jarhead.

Exactly, Dumbledore. How fucking hard is it to avoid using the phrase? You'd think even a hack screenwriter (redundant?) would stop him/herself from employing it, given that there are many other ways of saying the same thing. Are there studio executives out there insisting on using it, demanding a rewrite that…

I remember in first grade art class, I drew a picture (more like a cartoon) with someone saying, "Did you lose a boot?" I already knew the difference (long story). But the art teacher insisted I'd spelled it wrong and made me change it to "loose." Cue years-long confusion over the proper use of both. Stupid fucking…

I had no idea who that was in the Chappelle sketch until, like, a year later. It could have been any guitarist. He didn't contribute to the comedy in any notable way.

IMPORTANT:
We must, as a people, a community, a nation, put a stop - an immediate, violent, permanent end - to the use of the phrase, "I'm just getting warmed up" in all feature films, television shows and live theatre.

You should hit them with a stick.

I don't like that John Mayer
.

Yeah, I misspelled narcissism. Yeah, I did it twice. Sue me.

I'm sorry but I can't get behind this
Jeremy Blake and Theresa Duncan were fucking jackasses. I'm very very tired of the constant celebration of their brand of pretentious narsicism and contemptible sefl-obsession. Now one of the world's most pretentious filmmakers is getting together with my generation's biographer…