I've never seen a TV show review say something profound about the universe before.

I'd rather see another Chronicles movie than a new Spider-man. Actually, I'd rather see most movies than another Spider-man. Pretty much any joy has been sucked from that commercial entity now.

I'd rather see another Chronicles movie than a new Spider-man. Actually, I'd rather see most movies than another Spider-man. Pretty much any joy has been sucked from that commercial entity now.

I'm Jewish. The more religious I get the more babies I should be popping out.

I'm Jewish. The more religious I get the more babies I should be popping out.

It's WAY worse for asexuals, especially female ones. Hell, I'm female and religious, so the cards are stacked against me in terms of societal pressure to marry and have a bunch of kids. I date just to shut my parents up and keep my options open, knowing I might have an interest in sharing my life with someone. But…

It's WAY worse for asexuals, especially female ones. Hell, I'm female and religious, so the cards are stacked against me in terms of societal pressure to marry and have a bunch of kids. I date just to shut my parents up and keep my options open, knowing I might have an interest in sharing my life with someone. But…

I'm torn: I like some things Penn Jillette has to say but I also never want to stop punching him.

I'm torn: I like some things Penn Jillette has to say but I also never want to stop punching him.

Oh, right. I guess when I was 9 and first read them, it was just too much information at once to process, and when I was 19 and read the books again I already knew the story so I didn't notice it in there.

Oh, right. I guess when I was 9 and first read them, it was just too much information at once to process, and when I was 19 and read the books again I already knew the story so I didn't notice it in there.

The Watchmen is definitely my favorite opening credit sequence of all time. I would follow it with Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring, but I guess that wasn't really credits, was it? All I remember is first seeing it and thinking, "Where the hell was this narration when I started reading the books? Because I…

The Watchmen is definitely my favorite opening credit sequence of all time. I would follow it with Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring, but I guess that wasn't really credits, was it? All I remember is first seeing it and thinking, "Where the hell was this narration when I started reading the books? Because I…

The B Plot was pure gold There was some line like, "And then he Tokyo drifts into his pants" that fuckin' killed me.

The B Plot was pure gold There was some line like, "And then he Tokyo drifts into his pants" that fuckin' killed me.

5) It's going to be covered on "How Did This Get Made"

5) It's going to be covered on "How Did This Get Made"

Oh thank God Mustache Dad is in this. I hope his yearbook ending is "Went on to be President of the United States."

Oh thank God Mustache Dad is in this. I hope his yearbook ending is "Went on to be President of the United States."

I opened my eyes at the second viewing, and it wasn't so bad. I was just super-annoyed that they made the incision horizontally. Anyone who's had bowel surgery can tell you that the incision is vertical.