You remember Alf? Well he's back…in zombie form.

To meth!! The cause of..and solution to…all of life's problems.

Does this mean he’ll be Kurtailing his minor league hockey career?

@avclub-3db41011acc2d229176bf6a92202728d:disqus A cum fireball? Wow you must be a hit at orgies…and camping trips.

Well Harvey Keitel and Tim Roth sure enjoyed it.

"If you've got a manager that thinks he's Charles Bronson, take the butt of your gun and smash his fucking nose in. You might get some bitch talk shit to you, but just give her a look like she's next and watch her shut the fuck up…I'm hungry, lets get a taco"

@TheMogul:disqus Well its a heartwarming story either way, reminds me of flowers in the attic.

@avclub-e57f718840a576abbb40a7d046c4e3b0:disqus The only part of that story I believe is that you were in a  bar last fall. The friends/blowjob/awesome sister angle…nah I ain't buying it.

Red son was good, so fuck him slightly less.

What’s not to understand? Sun goes down, comes back up, then goes down again.

“This flight is so realistic, the pilot even looks like john travolta”
*john travolta looks around nervously in the cockpit*…“Yeah looks like”

She’s not British dickhead.

The song at the end was from the soundtrack to the hannibal film. It was written by an irish guy but I can't remember his name.

“I was crazy to think anyone would want naked pictures of whoopi goldberg”

"Well that was a hell of a film career we almost had once"

Better cut that out Jim, the sign says "Do not feed the Cumberbatch's, or engage them in steely eyed staring contests"

Well what if an actor had been watching? He'd have been all like "god that cellist kid's fake acting was really atrocious, couldn't they have gotten a proper actor to pretend to play the cello?"

"Ahhh thats better, Pepper even put out my hemorrhoid cushion, if people only knew the chaffing that goes on in this suit"

You're easily embarrassed then, you may have a bit of social anxiety going on there.

"Finally! That's every dvd of The Ugly Truth, now to bury this bag somewhere"