As poetic as it would be, I'm not going to let the internet ruin pornography for me.

TJ! I can see your doodle!

DO YOU KNOW WOT SHE DID, YOUR CATHOLIC DOLLY GRIP?

Peter Benchley smells kind of like Peter Straub.

After you blew your trillion-dollar contract with Comedy Central and fucked off to Africa for a while, you thought, "Never again, Dave Chappelle. Never again."

MR. P ELECTROSHOCKED MY BALLS

I'm sure she has fans here, just not the kinds of fans she wants to have.

This casting doesn't seem weird to me at all.

Especially the cannibals.

Pretty much exactly.

Ted Bundy was handsome, but handsome in way that when you learned he was a serial killer, you weren't surprised. It's just a matter of translating Efron's Tiger Beat handsomeness to Bundy's Probably-Going-To-Rape-And-Murder-You handsomeness. I'm sure science will find a way.

I stand by my ill-informed belligerence.

SKITCHIN'!

He was also really hot when he was young.

I'd tell you you're wrong but it's so hard to type with these stumps.

Avocado Hand sounds like a fake band from a 90s movie. Like Claire Forlani, Seth Green, and Breckin Meyer save the record store by forming Avocado Hand.

I've always used a spoon to scoop out the pit.

Outkast taught me about Donkey Ass.

You're confusing Avocado Hand with Kermit Fist.

I won't have you questioning the integrity of The Wad Couple and its many enthralling sequels.