DT Phil is Dr. Phil if he goes a few hours without whisky.

I can watch that every time I close my eyes.

R.I.P. Amber or Madison or whatever.

This reminds me that I saw Green Room over the weekend. You're lucky you made it out.

Cable news during the Bush Administration was roughly 80% missing white girls.

*sigh*

AMY HECKERLING THE PLANET

We'll miss you, Pepsi.

Congratulations, now stuff a cheese wheel in it, Pierre!

Nazinga!

It's already 90 degrees outside, I don't know if woolen cockholsters are the wisest choice.

Okay but that doesn't explain what I'm supposed to do about the mouths of all these inbred sheep.

I accidentally got back in my sheep mouth and shut the line.

You can get a great deal on mothers if you have Prime. Somebody tell Xanderpuss.

Please, it's "sheeple."

It is totally unknown to me what you just asked me, and also very boring.

Any nun can fly, it's the landing part that's tricky.

You should really just relax.

Also music hell. There are special places in several different hells for the gentlemen of Stryper.

Raise your hand if you thought the "heavenly metal album" was going to be Stryper.