Even if she's eating a sloppy joe?

You make a valid counterpoint

American Gods is also too beautiful for this world.

Wait you didn't list what you were unhappiest to learn, let me help you… Ah! Occasionally wealthy building owners would raise their building even higher than 6 feet and move them to the poorest parts of the city and then suddenly deactivate the jacks and crush unlucky slum dwellers below, simply to exhibit their…

*mails Noah Hawley crude, crayon drawn fan award, "bezt tee-v show of tha yeer"*

I'll take it! Maybe I can use it to crush that damn fly…

How do you win a single award for your work in multiple television shows? Can they just change the name to "MVP of Drama?"

I'm here to announce: I can hear a house fly's death throes somewhere in my apartment and it's slowly driving me insane.

It's too beautiful for this world.

I've never watched this show, and I don't intend to, but that hasn't stopped me from commenting on an article before.

It's the first test they're given, they bring in a young female intern and if they proposition her for some sexual favor they pass on to the next round of the interview.

I would. Of course that's because my news network is Sexual Crimes Daily, the only 24-hour channel dedicated to chronicling the latest illicit sexual activities.

Nobody notices that either of them are whipping them out because they're nearly invisible to the naked eye.

I like how they think I can afford to own a home.

Hey everyone, is Congress giving homeowners in your area who owe less than $625K something?! I'm excited because I just learned I can skip the gym and do a 10-minute workout instead and then love Chuck E. Cheese afterward in my new 2017 SUV.

ATHF + Sealab 4EVA!

Sucker, I would've done it for $1.25, that extra $3.75 is all gravy

The idea that either gender has any sort of inherent advantage in any field of study has always baffled me.

That's why I tend to talk politics with my female coworkers, I'm not always certain what side of the political spectrum my male coworkers are on. Though, I do live in a very liberal area, so I'm usually not too concerned.

I've had my face surgically altered in such a way that smiling causes me to sob hysterically, that way it always looks insincere.