No it's that the sharks are escaped ones from Deep Blue Sea and they're starting a cinematic universe out of that fact.

Back in my drinkin' days, especially my underage drinking days, if I ran into a situation like that I'd inhale alcohol until someone asked "who are you?" And then leave.

Bienvenidos a la A.V. Club, ese!

He could just send an image of the story as an attachment to the tweet like nearly everybody else does for longer statements.

A Midwestern family? So there's relatively little drama, and emotions are dangerously repressed unless the characters are intoxicated?

Your facts are no match for my blind devotion and rhetoric, lizard-brain activate and fail to absorb this information!

You'd get tired of flexing them after a while though

And his sidekick, Jimmy Boombox!

I don't know, being a toddler somewhere in the recently built house my family moved into?

That might make more sense if I advocated for violence against the lead scientist at the Antarctic research station. As I did no such thing, you are utterly without a point.

This comment right here you just made has led me to believe that I should assassinate the lead scientist at the Antarctic research station. Will you accept culpability, or maybe rethink this particular reasoning as faulty if this event comes to be?

I don't know man, he has some good ideas about flying boats by powering them with magic pyramids.

This is an amazingly great article by clickhole on the conflict of conscience that they'd have if they actually had to "stamp out tyranny":

Upvotes are what matter right? Not the logic or consistency of truth a comment may have.

…Buu?

Harmonium, is a cheap knock-off of the much more useful Vibranium. Educate yourself to tell the difference between the two:

Like for tax purposes? That wouldn't be beneficial for me, sorry. I mean technically I could include as many dollars as I want in my revenue, but it doesn't make it true.

Chip Kelly sounds awful, aren't you in college by that point?

The show cast her as a villain in what? How? How do these bachelor shows work, they sound god-awful.

But didn't he supposedly use his face?