Our melanin is made of peanut butter and our hearts pump ketchup around our bodies, so this checks out.

Why else would they be referred to as the Evil Twin Cities?

Where are her humongous, physically impossible breasts?

What the fuck is Tron?

Sea urchin, sea urchin, sea urchin, sea urchin, sea urchin sea urchin sea urchin sea urchin sea urchin sea urchin sea urchin sea urchin sea urchin sea urchin sea urchin sea urchin sea urchin sea urchin sea urchin sea urchin sea urchin sea urchin

There needs to be a warning about such sexual imagery adorning the top of AV Club, because I instantly became aroused at work and when I was sent to HR, I showed them the web page that popped up and she became aroused and now the whole company is engaged in an orgy based simply on the raw sexuality of that header…

Hot dogs are repulsive in general

It's called "Presidential Steak Sauce" now.

Worst Midwestern dish is something called the "Cyanide Scoop." It's where you top a scoop of ice cream liberally with cyanide. It hasn't really caught on too much, mainly cause it never gets the chance to be passed on by word of mouth.

No… You are our messiah, lead us, exexalien.

So a taco with a thicker shell then?

What heavenly high school did you go to where there weren't daily knife fights?

He exploded before he could shoot him according to Mike.

D-d-double post!

How easy are mosquito bites to obtain though? Do you live in a swamp and actively encourage stale bodies of water in your house or something?

Updated for 2016: The book just says "No." to answer the titular question and ends there.

Mitch McConnell has a wife? Doesn't love cause his innards to burst into flames? Or are they in some sort of symbiotic-parasite relationship?

I'm a straight white male and I would totally love to catch a break, with any human female of any race. Hopefully they're a decent human being, that's all I care about anyways, but I'm not really picky at this point, if the only person who will love me is female Pol Pot, I'll take it.

Yes you're both right, but I was going for the authentic factually inaccurate Facebook post

Doesn't he just give his music away at this point on his website anyways? And you can pay if you want or something?