Go get me a can of tire pressure, a lightbulb repair kit, a board stretcher, a blue left handed smoke bender, a biscuit gun, a bucket of steam, a left-handed wrench, a Henway, some Updoc, a Dickfor and some Matterdaddies!

You know, I love everything R.E.M. did until "Out Of Time," and I still can see how a lot of that stuff might not sound all that hot divorced from the time period they were released in.

I do-hon't think all these peeople underr-staaand…

For a while there, The Seattle 'Stranger' had an advice column called, "What's My Gripe, By Michael Stipe," in which somebody would write in the voice of M. Stipe, generally complaining about going to what was supposed to be a vegetarian potluck and there was meat in the chili! "I CALL BULLSHIT ON THAT!" was how all…

I think he was the principal on 'Beverly Hills, 90210,' as well. I kinda feel like the guy has spent most of his career since this movie playing Conrad Bain type roles.

Sir, what's your view on Apar-THEID!?

Or am I thinking of "City Hall?"
Crap, I think I am.

With John Cusack's Magically Disappearing and Reappearing "Cajun" Accent? Gold!

I went to see that movie on a date.
I'm an idiot.

On some of her more obscure recordings, her boobs play the harpsichord!

Other weirdness in this article: I'm pretty sure that 1975 came five years after 1970, and that 1977 came two years after 1975. Unless that was some exceedingly strange time-based-gag.

Ah, Sausalito jokes. You just can't go back, you know?

Ain't gonna be called no doofus by you, pal…

"Let's hope Taco Bell doesn't buy out Burger King…"
I think you may have heard this already, but they're both owned by the YUM corporation, as is Pizza Hut, Wing Street and something called East Dawning, which will be fast food Asian food made available (finally!) in Asia.

And; "…playing Richard Diamond's secretary on the detective series of the same name…"

I can't tell you how bummed I am at having the possibility of a little-known Andy Rooney-helmed show from the Fifties offered to me, and then taken away so quickly.

What does 'touche et le le poux' mean?

The time maybe just hasn't come yet for "Intolerable Cruelty." I saw it in the theater, and at the time thought it worked just as well as all Coen Bros. films do: a note-perfect homage to other movie genres, in this case the romcom.

"See, the rest of you just don't GET IT…" is pretty much the argument that always makes me stop paying attention, no matter who's making it.

Gimme a break! I've been way too busy low-balling the estimates!