"I can't wait to shotgun a few Coors Lights in the parking lot before rocking out to the Bryan Adams cover band."

"You had me at 'hel—'"

"You had me at 'hel—'"

One more long, loud, Texas-sized fart and—there we go!  Down to the River Walk for some of the local culture.

One more long, loud, Texas-sized fart and—there we go!  Down to the River Walk for some of the local culture.

"Hey, Mordecai!  Think fast!"

"Shh!  Listen.  Do you smell something?"

"Chicken bone on a string?  Why sure, we have one hangin' over grandpa's head. Oh, and never you mind the hammer."

Naked.

Naked.

"Cut the cord already!  This kid is at least five."

"Cut the cord already!  This kid is at least five."

"The Coast Guard can't save me this time."

"The Coast Guard can't save me this time."