Forget MacDonald - get Al Gore on the phone!

A lot of the elderly ones still deny that they knew what was going on in that camp down the road. I'd take Hasselhoff denial with a grain of salt.

I thought the pitchfork symbolized pointlessly pretentious music reviews.

You wouldn't dare type that if any of them could read.

Q.E.D.

To follow this to the logical end: here's a picture of Jon Voight's balls playing Maleficent.

Will it have blackjack? And hookers?

Now that Tatiana Samoilova has passed, sure.

Look, we all miss Leno - reminding us of his absence doesn't help with the grieving process.

So a better follow-up to Kimmel, then.

Petticoat Junction, on the other hand, is just as debauched as you'd think.

You need a reason to use your god-given gift?

If they can get Julie Taymor on board, we'll be entertained by stories of pitchfork impalements and on-stage pig maulings for weeks.

Final Fantasy: The Digits Within

Imagine how Frank Stallone would feel.

And who will his first guest be?

Uh, no. In addition to ruining milk, Pasteur also discovered the principles of vaccination.

Oh daddy - we're all DE-VO!

Jenny McCarthy in Pasteur? Basteurd!

Six hundred and sixty-six times this, ha ha!