Guards banging at your desk? Do they make you watch while they bang or something? I figure that would disrupt way more work than you looking at some ass cheeks.

In other words, it's time to rewatch Deadwood.

With some of the bullshit bells and whistles they stuff in their phones, maybe.

EDIT - I try not to think too much about who are banging my crushes.

Can't wait for Dumb iPhone.

Twist: Amber Tamblyn gets to do dirty things to David Cross, and ol' Dave is like "not tonight, honey, I have a headache".

Hey save some premature ejaculation puns for the movie, lord knows they need some.

Great, you just made me type 'handjob' in my journal paper submission tab. And worse: it wasn't even a journal on handjobs.

That joke died harder than the migrant laborers building World Cup stadia.

…but the toilet only had two seashells!?

Bonus: Alfred Molina is still hanging out in that jungle cave, and now looks like present-day Alfred Molina with a posh British accent.

There are a few classic rock stations down south that basically does that but with 10-minute Hillary Clinton rants instead of Family Guy sound clips.

So begins Justice League: Three's Company where Batman and Superman have to pretend to be straight to share Wonder Woman's rent-controlled apartment in Greenwich Village, owned by a homophobe for some reason.

"Terry Gilliam" renounces his US citizenship, then needs to work in the US, therefore has to navigate the increasingly absurd USCIS bureaucracy in order to get a green card.

How to make Batman and Superman lovers:

Is it….manual?

On the other hand, he was also Octopussy.

Hey, at least he didn't blame the butcher for providing the pig.

What the fuck? I thought it was about Jimmy Stewart cosplaying!

On a related note, I'm going to convince my cousin's bakery to make 1-inch puff pastry dicks and advertise them "For when you lose an Eat-a-Bag-of-Dicks wager."