I was just thinking that whomever Epps beat up should have used that Jedi mind trick thing that Eddie used on Mr. T.

Have to give him credit for introducing me to "Tourist Trap," though…that was one fucked-up (in a good way) horror film.

The other half probably has some huge Maori face tattoo, like Mike Tyson's.

So this is the girl who made me click the "Hottest Pics from the VMAs!" link yesterday when I have next to no interest in the VMAs.

So if this is a success, are they going to change their kids in every movie? The only tolerable ones were in the first one. The second one gave us that ugly redheaded Rusty and fat, freakish Audrey, Lewis and Galecki spend all of CV looking bored, and VV had a skinny weasel Rusty and an Audrey who kept acting like…

"Oooo…real tomato ketchup, Eddie?"

I always thought so as well. I have a thing for women with frowny mouths.

Huh-huh…"Rimmer."

"You know, Butt-head, I remember back when I was kicking it with Snoop at the Compton swap meet…"

It's a mess, but I still love "Lisztomania."

No matter how attractive he is, he will always be known as Matt Boner.

Does that mean I can still get a baseball card of Muttonchop Yaz?

I think I may have a well-read copy of Smurfs #1.

Back in the '90s, we liked buying products from people who would scream in our face and question our "edginess" and "authenticity."

I had Pizza Hut in Poland once. Also Dunkin' Donuts.

"So, son of Jor-El, are you ready to die?"
"First, let's get the rules straight. No jokes about my silly cape."
"Fine, as long as there are no cracks about me being an ex-con. Let the battle begin!"

Why would you say this to me…when you know I will kill you for it?

I figured it was someone named "Sizzurp."

You could always use one to cast a curse on one of his blood relatives.

I'll bet you got one of those coffin-shaped pendants filled with real dirt from Dracula's castle that they used to sell in the back of Famous Monsters magazine around 1979.