They're not real. When she was 14 she was a jack-o'lantern.

They're not real. When she was 14 she was a jack-o'lantern.

Cheer up or you might end up a Scientologist soon.

Cheer up or you might end up a Scientologist soon.

I'm thinking he just wants to get his "tentpole" as close to j-law as possible.

I'm thinking he just wants to get his "tentpole" as close to j-law as possible.

Best-case scenario is a Schindler-type story that shows Lincoln's motivations and evolution over time. If he's made out to be a saint the movie is not going to work.

Best-case scenario is a Schindler-type story that shows Lincoln's motivations and evolution over time. If he's made out to be a saint the movie is not going to work.

Yes, I'm afraid she is, Daffy. It's time to face who you really are.

Yes, I'm afraid she is, Daffy. It's time to face who you really are.

That sounds like something Alan Rachins would have said in Showgirls.

That sounds like something Alan Rachins would have said in Showgirls.

My town is so shit we just got a cupcake place last month

My town is so shit we just got a cupcake place last month

You've been doing this while hanging around the Spring Breakers set, right? I suppose that's why Selena Gomez is starting to get chubby.

You've been doing this while hanging around the Spring Breakers set, right? I suppose that's why Selena Gomez is starting to get chubby.

From Mortal Kombat? He'd punch my fucking head off!

From Mortal Kombat? He'd punch my fucking head off!

good job. Now IPRMT is going to think he can look forward to an article by Nathan Rabin praising him for his postmodern ballsiness in 10 years.

good job. Now IPRMT is going to think he can look forward to an article by Nathan Rabin praising him for his postmodern ballsiness in 10 years.