re: American Beauty, all I could think was "So, why don't you get the fuck out, then? Why hang around mopily torturing your family with your self-pity? Your wife is right! You're treating her like shit, you know that?" The movie presented selfish angst as noble, honest, and pure. And he got shot anyway at the end - if…

re: American Beauty, all I could think was "So, why don't you get the fuck out, then? Why hang around mopily torturing your family with your self-pity? Your wife is right! You're treating her like shit, you know that?" The movie presented selfish angst as noble, honest, and pure. And he got shot anyway at the end - if…

This is why I kept my lower-than-low opinion of it mostly to myself at the time. Hating it didn't make me feel edgy, just weirdly out-of-step. At least I didn't pretend to like it in order to fit in.

This is why I kept my lower-than-low opinion of it mostly to myself at the time. Hating it didn't make me feel edgy, just weirdly out-of-step. At least I didn't pretend to like it in order to fit in.

It was a savage parody of optimism.

It was a savage parody of optimism.

I ended up seeing it twice (the second time kind of by accident, when my date showed up at the wrong time for the movie we'd planned to see). IT WAS INCREDIBLY LOUD!!!!!, which was the worst thing about it. It was so loud that I held my hands over my ears most of the time, and it was still shrill and LOUD. I think it…

I ended up seeing it twice (the second time kind of by accident, when my date showed up at the wrong time for the movie we'd planned to see). IT WAS INCREDIBLY LOUD!!!!!, which was the worst thing about it. It was so loud that I held my hands over my ears most of the time, and it was still shrill and LOUD. I think it…

"The Ice Storm" was…disappointing, that's all.

"The Ice Storm" was…disappointing, that's all.

Wow. "American Beauty".  It's almost maddening when some stupid piece of stuff becomes the movie that EVERYONE'S talking about, and it wins awards, and people tell you "You didn't like it? Oh, you need to see it again". Like, again? Because, I just didn't get it the first time? No, thank you.

Wow. "American Beauty".  It's almost maddening when some stupid piece of stuff becomes the movie that EVERYONE'S talking about, and it wins awards, and people tell you "You didn't like it? Oh, you need to see it again". Like, again? Because, I just didn't get it the first time? No, thank you.

To be fair, that was inspired by Charlie Starkweather, who really was from the 1950s as Badlands was

To be fair, that was inspired by Charlie Starkweather, who really was from the 1950s as Badlands was

I can do better than that.

I can do better than that.

And here I was going to say "Who? Who is putting her down lately?" Now we know. You take a look in the mirror lately, tall, dark and gruesome? HA!

And here I was going to say "Who? Who is putting her down lately?" Now we know. You take a look in the mirror lately, tall, dark and gruesome? HA!

Hannnibal used African elephants! Right? They're known to be almost impossible to train!

Hannnibal used African elephants! Right? They're known to be almost impossible to train!