He cracked open the Ark of the Covenant then reconsidered.

Bad-image-ratio Sean Penn?

*15 seconds of intense activity*
*20-second break*
*15 seconds of intense activity*
*20-second break*
*15 seconds of intense activity*
*20-second break*
*15 seconds of intense activity*
*20-second break*
*sits on bleachers for five minutes*

Somewhere between 11 million and 17 million perspectives seems appropriate.

It just occurred to me that Roethlisberger might be Pete Wentz's father.
(waaaaaay old Hater reference there)

At least an ad can go a full 30 seconds without stopping, unlike a football player.

Producing the album or producing the farts?

If you could sign up for that by itself, I would. It's only available if you already have a full HBO subscription through your TV provider AND your provider is one of a specific handful.

Personally I am on overlap between the latter two categories mentioned.

It was "the number one album yesterday" according to this article. I have full confidence that my collection of autotuned farts will be the number one album of 2am-4am when I release it.

Sure I know their backstories, but I don't know exactly what happened every moment of every day during that time. Which is obviously what everybody needs to know.

Game of Thrones? No. Reality show from eleven and a half years ago? Yes.

I should probably point out that I also consider sitting naked on the kitchen table and taking a dump on somebody's bed to be valid strategies for Big Brother. I don't know of any rule that bars that sort of thing.

For that last competition with the idol, I always wondered why nobody chose my preferred strategy of grabbing the thing with both hands and kicking everybody else in the solar plexus.

You want to open the Ludgate?

Needs more green pea-ness.

You know how to prove you're all grown up, Natalie? Hardcore pornography.

"Save your kiddie porn to the cloud"
Yeah, I don't see any way that could go wrong.

He was survived by his life partner, Jerry Fitch.

To be fair Neeson's grip might be acceptable for something like target
shooting, but it would be easy to get his thumb clipped by the slide (or
at least interfere with its action) in a situation that's less
deliberate. You also generally want a push/pull dynamic for stability. Neeson would presumably be pushing with…