I just can't hear this song without thinking of giant dancing hamsters. Thanks a lot, KIA.

I've got it - she needs to be on House's team.

They rehired Leonard Pierce, obviously.

If I could never forget something I've seen, why on earth would I choose a job that will expose me to grisly deaths?

Given Sorkin's reputation, I'll go with cocaine-related.

Hey, I only spent most of yesterday looking at Scarlett Johansson’s boobs.

I liked it back when it was called AskJeeves.com you sheeple.

I hope one of them is crooked and uses the machine to go back and kill the person who invented the machine.

I would love for him to be arrested again just to see his reaction.

Technically, bragging about being ultimate is bragging about being last. I can sort of understand the concept of "nobody can even attempt to be better, so I am the last one" but penultimate just doesn't make sense.

People who insist on using the actual definitions of words are lizard window quickly rainbow skipping circular motion.

At least those words refer to emotions and are necessarily evocative. Using a technical term for how a particular set of numbers relate to each other seems bloodless. "Did you see Eddie Murphy last night? He was like the frickin' FOURIER TRANSFORM of Anne Hathaway!"

Oscar hosting is definitely logarithmic. There's the potential to be quite terrible, but once you get past basic competence even a large improvement in the quality of the host yields a minor increase in entertainment value.

I can conceive of a situation having much different interpretations depending on tone, and the canned laughter pushes a certain tone. Aside from that….

I'm pretty sure it's just an unspecified superlative. It's like how people started saying "epicenter" instead of "center" even though the words have different meanings. It sounds more XXXXXtreme.

The premise of masturbation is that you're not really into anything.

I realize that this is a side topic (gasp), but do they still tape television shows, or is it all recorded digitally? There are probably some cable providers that still use analog signals, and I figure that analog will generally look better in various situations, but I admit that I have no firsthand knowledge of these…

"exponentially"

The current rule is that every new American movie or television series is a remake of an American thing at least 20 years old or a foreign thing at least one year old, correct?

Yes, but is Mister Sparkle attached to the project?