Did the people who complain about the controls play the PC version? Some of the fancy shortcuts had inputs like run-climb-invert-jump-run-invert-jump-grab all in quick succession. I imagine it would be nightmarish with a mouse and keyboard, but they were absolute butter with the PS3 controller.

Wait a minute
Two of these people are married? They all look like they're 15!

Muppet mouth.

Cowboy Bebop is a great choice.

I agree; you seem to be caught in a time loop.

Ring ring ring ring homophone!
"dating a creepy stationary store guy"
Is it just the store rooted in place, or does the guy himself never move?

Zing
"the funniest and most original new comedy that's made it to broadcast since the turn of our most recent decade"

Lasers consume electrical power. A sword is really the better weapon when all industry has collapsed.

A baseball diamond.
First-base runners are the most common sources of "outs"
Getting to "second base" makes you a man
Barry Bonds (triple-digit homerun record) used to field third base
You charge home plate (specifically the catcher)

Cruising Through the Gulf Stream
Hey now, I watched every episode of Fish Police.

You guys have read "The Lottery" right?

"Value City Arena" no contest

Yeah, and that guy who they said was the mayor of Chicago was a totally different guy than the actual mayor. They don't have a clue.

4b. The COW's quote, which was either off-color or obviously coming from a dazed stoner.

Yikes
Johnny Depp in redface. I don't see how this could possibly go wrong.

You mean Screfourm

Meh.
Truth or Consequences already did it.

SPOILER ALERT: lady catches on fire

I like your idea for a gritty reboot. Your people should talk to my people.

Yes, but
…does she take her top off?