I can't mock the grammar, but you used bad syntax.

Entrepreneurism
"…before a cancer-related surgery by a Scottish company called CereProc. "CereProc is now blending in my audio snippets for Casablanca…."

Refresh my memory
Wasn't Jack already moved out of his apartment when the season opened?

Obligatory Reference
This game will be recalled after a hacker accesses the "Troy McClure mode" data locked away on the disc.

"Birdhouse in your Soul" by TMBG. It's the closest thing to a musical tune I can sing. Which is to say that I can't sing for shit.

Taking the 'bate
Alright, I'll ask. What does "masturbate like a gentleman" entail? Pinky finger extended?

Ugh
If any further reason was needed to hate Jay Leno, selling a denim shirt for $40 seals the deal.

Butch!
Because when I think manly, I think of Kahlua and Bailey's.

Rather ironic coming from a person who uses the British spelling of "grey."

Thanks, Jerry.

When award season rolls around…
…the Jami Goldman movie should have a leg up on the competition!

If biweekly means twice a week, then we should be celebrating the bicentennial two hundred times each year. "Biweekly" happens every two weeks. "Semiweekly" happens every half week. You see how the prefix works?

That particular ABD lifestyle also assumes that you're planning to eat nothing but cat food in your golden years.

April 1st
I think we all know why the press release has that particular date, but it definitely seems odd that they couldn't hold off for another month.

Yikes
I interpreted the headline to mean that a series of terrible ads featured Eric Clapton getting off. With that expectation, the reality doesn't seem nearly so bad.

Back to the original post, the intended customer might well be someone who lives in an area without AT&T service, or at least no 3G service from them. Given that the Verizon ads claim "5X more 3G coverage" and haven't been shut down, that would encompass people living in 5/6ths of America.

Sure, I'd watch Lily Tomlin and Wanda Sykes make out.

Yes, welcome to a seriously weird numbering system: Dark Forces; then Dark Forces 2: Jedi Knight; then Jedi Knight 2. Killing Jan at the end of JK was just fantastic.

Wow
They sure took a lot of liberties with the licensed video game, but I suppose it's inevitable when it releases 15 years later.

Just wait until Andy Dick goes missing.