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Imagine: Wearing Pants

"I'm With the Monkey" will be the name of my band.

Take my state and add two adjacent states, then you've just about equaled the population of Dallas. While I would love for him to show up within 500 miles of me, I am grudgingly pessimistic.

It's OK if God reads your mail. Like when he watches you in the bathroom.

Holy Crap
The top picture is seriously disturbing. If I saw a real person with that look I would go visit out-of-state relatives for a week or so while the shit goes down.

I said it before and I'll say it again - name any pop idol with a noticeable physical deformity. It's the sad truth of the business.

I could only go by the smell, but they smelled roughly the same as CiniMinis.

It's worked for every other nonwhite culture!

That's what she said
"…the white stuff drips off the side and onto the fingers, like it's being poured from a pitcher. "

I considered that, but why would they leave the crate? Heck, why not just drive the truck away?

Buddy System
The Russians learn the hard way to use the buddy system, both with the torture and with keeping track of Josef.

Was there any particular reason that they couldn't put her in a cab?

Yes, but what's the collective noun? A hunk of strata?

Humiliating though it may be
I'll take "Turn the Tub Around" over almost any other ad out there. At least it gives me something to laugh at.

You mean "gangsta" and "gangster" are different? This changes everything!

You should look into that "power-ejaculating" mentioned in the article.

Squirt Gun
I know it's part of what the guy was trying to do, but I could have lived without that "really thick" conversation.

All but one
They can't use every international holiday, as my production company has already licensed Golden Week. Casting is now open!

Sad Dose of Reality
The "Asteroid Alert Station" ad made me wince, both because so such warning system exists and because one could be established for a bit less money than Budweiser spent on Super Bowl advertising.

Google Translate
"Again, it's one of those things that's very hard to tell from the inside, when you're under pressures that come to bear on every decision. This is not the kind of show where every episode was planned out in a bible."