Hey gang just wanted to pop in to make the announcement that I'm, for lack of a better term, retiring from regular commenting here at the AVC. I may drop by if there's a Newswire that piques my interest to upvote your comments (check those notifications!), but for the most part I think I'm done as a regular commenter.…

No es bueno.

-Bill Clinton

I would have objectified these broads in a much classier way.
-Donald TrumpTronald Dump

We need to do a better job of taking lunch money from nerds.

[FEIGNED GASP FROM LINDSEY GRAHAM]

-Jeremy Renner

-HDB

El Oscars y Emmys son buenas. Los Globos de Oro son el Diablo.

That's why I always end my texts with an eggplant emoji.

Yeah what I'm taking away from all these comments is that the commenters here are more "Old Man Yells at Cloud" than the Prez.

That was Bill Clinton's choice - he loved "Fuck the Pain Away."

Or you know, he actually likes hip hop.

Yeah it's really shocking that noted hip hop fan Barack Obama's favorite song is by one of the biggest and most critically acclaimed contemporary hip hop artists.

*considers AVC commenter demographics*

Still not sure if gimmick account or actual Trump quote…

Philadelphia Mayor Michael Nutter:

Earth? No thanks.
-Martians

That's bush. Bush league. YOU HEAR ME? AKBAR! LOOK AT ME!

I'm going to straight up murder your ass.