It could be worse. If Franco hadn't dropped out of Inception then he could have been Robin.

But is Raylan Givens good??! Nobody's talking about the mutherfuckin' Olyphaunt in the room!!

Yea, he's pretty obviously meant to recall Anakin's whiny angst and twerpy hostility. He's somewhere between a space Odd Future kid drawing swastikas on his notebook to get a rise out of you and an actual neo-nazi.

Gotcha. I had a friend ask the morning after we saw it "Was Hamill good? I bet he was great!" and all I could say is, "Of course he was!"

Kylo reading your mind and saying "You're so lonely . . ." is his idea of spitting game.

Those scenes in the swamp are even better if you go with the idea that R2D2 *hates* the Force and all this Jedi shit is just getting him muddy while some old goblin is yelling at everyone.

What got spoiled for you?

How does she instantly win when he has to beat Finn first and is fighting with the significant handicap of Chewbacca having shot him in the ribs? Kylo Ren's overconfidence is his weakness, just like Luke told the Emperor.

Stickler Meeseeks, can you save the X-men movies?

Hahah! The scene where Apocalypse augments the horsemen's powers/outfits while Magneto is tele-conferencing with Xavier made me think of Purple Rain. Magneto looks at him all wounded and confused like Apollonia, Storm and Psylocke are snickering and bitchy like Wendy and Lisa . . . Apocalypse should have been taller…

I think critics call something grim when they find it aiming for pathos that feels unearned and decide it isn't clever or apologetic enough to be labelled 'camp.' So the scenes with the little girl and her mother getting arrow'd to each other and the mutants tearing up Auschwitz (fun fact: turned into a museum in…

And the worst part is that the only reason the they retroactively have Stryker capture Wolverine is so they can re-stage the end of X2 in the middle of this movie! It was so infuriating and perfunctory and seemed like such an obvious way to drag out the run-time. They knew they needed some Jackman in there somehow,…

A stick man with massive tits, presumably.

I am unsure of Mads' diabolical laugh skills (guess we'll see when Dr. Strange is out?) but he does this amazing, very creepy thing where he'll smile at a moment of absolute desperation that makes him seem suddenly all the more human and terrifying. Like when he takes a break from torturing James Bond in Casino…

Ha! One of my favorite ever Internet videos is the lecture that Rand Miller and John Romero gave about both of their games at NYU, some 20 years after the fact:

But how was the food?

You don't have to do this, you've given Chris Nolan everything!

Weirdest fact: James Gunn got his first screenwriting job, on Troma's Tromeo and Juliet, because of a note attached to his resume that said he vomited on stage during an open mic night in LA and director Lloyd Kaufmann (who hates Disney but still cameos in Guardians of the Galaxy) got excited and thought that the…

THE FUCKIN' EQUALIZER!

"I wish people would stop using video game story critiques as an excuse to virtue signal to their political tribe."