Ugh, that drives me so crazy. Even if that were the problem for Gen Y people (and it's not, the problem is that they have massive student debt and no job prospects) but even if it were the problem, coming to terms with the fact that your life is going to be 100% totally ordinary is something everyone has to do in…

Yes but the charity you do is really for selfish reasons because… um… well… I just can't fathom people being selfless. God knows I've never felt the urge. [/objectivism]

Those complaints were often very intricate. No way some of those people weren't rewinding and pausing.

And poofter means tourist!

Viva Jay Sherman! Viva Quebec!

Alien Jesus is everywhere.

Terrible idea for a reality show. Actually an awesome idea for a scripted show.

Yeah but the people in those Red Wedding videos didn't know they were being recorded. It's very different when they're aware there's a camera on them and they really want you to know they'd be willing to transition this footage into their own reality show where they make out with Flavor Flav and stuff.

I think we all knew this particular well wasn't dry just yet.

"I don't think he was all evil. He had a donor card."

Better than the green broads Kirk dates.

She twerks hard for the money (dun dun, dun dun)
So hard for it honey(dun dun, dun dun)
She twerks hard for the money so you'd better talk about it incessantly on the internet the next day (dun dun, dun da dun)

"It IS kind of offensive."

I dunno… my wife and I usually leapfrog each other with our salaries. Right now she's the breadwinner, but I can put a fitted sheet onto a bed with ease.. so my value to the relationship remains unchallenged.

All this… in a goy's tooth mind you.

Guys can't raise children 'cause they're all like "I have a penis" and their wives are all like "I make the money and don't need a wallet 'cause I have a vagina. You can't have sex with me 'cause it'll make change and we fear change."

^Also no possible in real life. I've seen 40 Days and 40 Nights. No one goes more than a month without having sex and to do so would be incredibly difficult. Hollywood wouldn't lead me astray on this one.

Dude, everyone had their first kiss by age 16, and lost their virginity by age 18. The possibility that there's a large segment of the population that bloomed later and are routinely ignored by pop culture, just couldn't be the case.

Being a grown adult and writing songs with teenage mentalities for teens worked for Korn.

Did you just say Colbert could transition to a network TV talk show host if he wanted? Why on earth would he want to take such a step down in both status and relevance?