What I am trying to say is, psychologically, yes, I am ready to rock, it's just really not the best time for me right now.

I'm ready to rock, but I really need to clean up first. I wish would give me more warning about when we are going to rock. Fuck it, I'm too tired. Let's rock another time.

I am looking forward to purchasing a Metric album
as soon Ms. Haines gets over that awful cold.

Fuck off you parasite.

Ponce.

She chose me over you because I drive a fast car and have an extensive liquor cabinet. I do not consider you a threat or even a nuisance. Now if you'll excuse me I am wanted in the bedroom.

Teens
are so bloody horny.

Quite right. Poo is the cleanest substance known to man.

Lovely
This is the most "reasonable discussions" I have ever seen. Can I be philosophical for a moment and say that I think this is a wonderful reflection of the importance of pop culture in our lives? That we steal from the things we love shows how important these things have become in the development of our…

I quite agree, Ms. Gillette
Children are such morons.

And don't get me started on toothbrushes… Do I want the "Colgate Professional" or do I want the "Colgate 360 with tongue scraper"? I just can't decide!

Grooming Products
I find grooming products incredibly frustrating. Is it just me or do all those hair products do roughly the same thing, that is, make your hair kind of sticky?

Question
Are all Segways built with off-road tires now? I would have thought a Chanel Segway would be more sporty.

My father vacuum-packed all my stuffed animals and segregated them based on their kind: bear, other animal, or humanoid. It was quite terrifying to discover those bags of apparently asphyxiated creatures. Nightmared commenced.

I agree with your bold opinion, Phel, and believe all children over 12 should burn their pile of stuffed animals as a rite of passage.

Valentine
Ms. Gillette, will you be my Valentine? I shall try and surely fail to provide you with a gift unworthy of your hate. But, no matter, for it is because of your hate that I love you. Love is so complex, Ms. Gillette, do you not think so?

It's a myth that I'm drunk all the time—it's more like 60% of the time.

I'm like an alcoholic.

I would personally leave Doestoevsky out of the American canon…

I like to think I transcend demographics.