I still don't get it.

Once again, Monday, you suck a whole lot of nob.

Whoa, hey.  Dial it back.  I happen to be a big fan of breakfast.

I 'm normally all aboard the hatetrain sippin on some haterade, but I've really got no dog in this race.  I can't get invested enough to care.  Although, I see where you're coming from.    

I'm still sad that the excitement in different languages thing didn't get any traction.

I heard we're having a party.

You're on the AVClub.  The derision was self-evident.

I like the pictures.

I make stuff.  Just yesterday I made a 12 oz steak and a sweet potato into poop.  Where's my song?

It's a sad state of affairs when we need "reasons" to reanimate the dead.

You're being entirely too reasonable.  Fuck this guy and the horse he road in on.

I think the problem is that his fatness hasn't been increasing with his creative output. He's experiencing diminishing returns due to the fact that he is using his body's funny fat hormone—I'm dumbing this down for the layman—too quickly for it to return to significant levels.  The only solution is to get fatter.

@NaturalBlues:disqus Great.  Now I'm curious.

@avclub-92eacf53f4fac3152a85463988ab1490:disqus I'm hungry, this is boring, do I have to poop, what was I suppose to do today besides poop.

Sir, it's stuck up at Franco levels.  We can't talk it down!

It's ambiguous, ergo ART.

"What do you mean the AVClub has a commenting policy?"

The lesson here is kids are awful and you should destroy their self-esteem while they're still small because they might get bigger than you.

I'M MAJORLY TURNED OFF BY YOU IN A SEXUAL MANNER BECAUSE YOU DON'T WATCH SPARTACUS.

@avclub-315b70a591bfd3c281d13e458aed35fa:disqus "If I had a bottle of vodka for every time I had to drag my enraged wife off of another person before she beat them to death."