"Fortunately, Thompson survived." Speak for yourself.

I actually like this series quite a bit - it delivers on its premise, the star is game and does a more than passable impression, and it accurately captures the macabre humor of its inspiration. The one night stand episode is my favorite, but this one has the great line, "Newer Smash Mouth?"

It's an origin story, so he probably won't have his iconic suit until the final stretch, a la Batman Begins, Iron Man, and, well, pretty much every origin story. Gotta go out and get his ass kicked wearing a generic homemade situation for a while first, then the suit comes out after some soul searching and second…

I'm shocked that "Penis Monster" is still available. Better move fast.

Martin Short's character is supposed to make you uncomfortable - he's a monster. He does get at least one great line: Kimmy: "I want a new face." Dr. Grant: "I've got some." Also the fingerless gloves are a priceless touch.

Col. Tom Parker and Fats Domino.

Solid tie / solid shirt - if you want to look like Regis Philbin circa 2002.

If the opportunity presented itself for a sexual encounter with Ellie Kemper, I would be grateful for said opportunity but, if history is any indication, fail to actualize said encounter, because this is also the way I hit on women.

Whoa-oh!

Don't feel bad. It's what everyone was thinking.

The Alien movies are all about corporate malfeasance anyway, so it's in his wheelhouse.

Timely.

I'm not a monster.

I kinda liked Jupiter Ascending. Crazy performances, legitimately good sets, fun vehicles, great costumes; sure, it wasn't timeless or anything, but it was fun. Fuck it, so was Speed Racer. Also the second Matrix movie was the only good one. There, I said it.

I know that this sounds wrong, but I'm against Make A Wish. Assuming there are a limited number of dollars being donated to these types of causes, should we really be blowing it all on elaborate stunts for kids who are at death's door already? Shouldn't we spend it on, y'know, research, so fewer kids die in the…

They really bury the lead with availability. All most people care about is whether it's streaming on Netflix. It's the basic cable of our generation. I haven't watched a DVD in ages.

Wilmore Rapport?

Oh I get it: they're both black but this one isn't a rapist. Funny.

So a once-finely crafted machine is now broken-down, saggy, and leaking a variety of gases and fluids. Seems plausible. The same thing happened to Schwarzenegger in real life, and to my CRV.

Twelve Mile Limit