I cannot imagine a better spokesman for Donnie Two Scoops. The content, the tone, the mannerisms - he's got it all. It's like he's been cast as Trump in an off-Broadway play and he's going method trying to get in character.

Easier now that The Mooch is in the house, I'm guessing.

Winona Ryder should never have given Ethan Hawke's abusive artist character in Reality Bites the time of day. Ben Stiller is a dick, too, though. Come to think of it, everyone in that movie is the worst and I don't like it at all. Good soundtrack, though.

Ernie K-Doe may not have had another pop hit, but "Here Come The Girls" is a straight up banger.

Noooooo I love her! Saw her film a standup special last year and it was great. I guess they never really gave her anything to do, so I get it.

Hey, we gonna get a Spoiler Space for this? I want to talk about that Stan Lee cameo without ruining everyone's day.

I liked the first one, but this one is a step up. Feels more James Gunn-y.

Your GF guilted you out of seeing it early and for free? You can do better, friend.

This is probably just because Trump doesn't drink. If he did, it feels like the perfect fit: the beer that proudly declared to be perfect for "removing the word 'no' from your vocabulary for the night".

I went to see Ghost In The Shell with the wife. I gave it a B-, with excellent design and compelling, plausible world-building. She gave it a hard F, saying after, "I want my 7 hours back." Agree to disagree, I suppose.

I'm your son's obsessed best friend! Let's make some pipe bombs! Also I'm wearing pants that I stole from a hobo! Romance.

Lost In Translation wasn't terrible, it was just kinda boring.

I think Secretary is a deeply romantic movie, but people usually just focus on the unconventional elements of the central relationship.

Yeah, definitely looks like another story about a sad white person who goes to Asia and becomes better at being Asian than all the Asians. Like Dr Strange. Or The Last Samurai. Or The Karate Kid Part 2. Or Little Buddha. Or Batman Begins. Oh man, there are so many. You Only Live Twice. Kill Bill.

Let's find someone with a better track record, like McG.

I was about to make this same joke about Hawaii and North Dakota with Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.

Word that it comes out on Bastille Day.

I like Trevor Noah's Daily Show. It was rocky for the first few months but hit its stride around the conventions and has been solid since. I was nervous when Noah got the gig because his standup is only so so, but the TDS writers are solid. Noah's interviews are good, especially when the guest is international and he…

I'm quickly approaching the point where using the Cash cover of "Hurt" just seems cheap and easy. It's like "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" - any time I hear it on a soundtrack or trailer I think they just aren't even trying.

DARKNESS