He also tries to tell you that Capitol One is a good idea. Clearly, he doesn't really mean it.

"Wait, that's 'no cone."

"Conan continues through 2015 to pretend that he doesn't like doing the string-dance thing."

A spoiled little pig on antibiotics, tied to a stake, that's driven into frozen winter shit.

Come to think of it, that is the best part of the show now.

It just slipped out.

I didn't see it backndaday either, and I watched MTV like Alex watched war-atrocity videos. I think there may have been two versions: the other version just showed Billy Ocean dancing around next to those water-vaporators, and it didn't have the llama-loves-lady plot at all. Maybe that was the version we got in the US?

You'd need your pinhole camera for that!

This is a good time to remind everyone of Billy Ocean's crazy video for "Loverboy" (be sure to watch the original version where the fuck-ed up llama alien shoots first! http://www.youtube.com/watc…

I hope they don't make a GJJGL column or we'll never see the female posters on the newswire ever again.

^pork

And she's never finished…

Of course it's pooping. We're talking about Chris Brown, here.

I've laid so much pipe, they refer to my bitch as The Big Dig.

We should give him the benefit of the doubt. When he says "lays the pipe" he could be referring to fucking Rihanna and not beating her with a pipe.

They played Yes videos on MTV before I was born? Those must have been awesome videos… right around the time of Fragile!

I have security cameras trained on every ottoman and flooring-transition in my home.

@avclub-9802e9f46fa34faab35e567f12cd5608:disqus It's the one with Johnny Depp, right?

Mine will be, "ah, I think I'll just stay inside again today."

From Ware's facebook today "Good Morning. Doctors say that I'm getting out of the hospital tomorrow!!!" I saw that injury last night. Unbelievable. And Go Cards! The men's team beat Duke and the women's team beat Baylor (possibly the biggest upset in NCAA women's history), all within hours of Ware's injury.