Seriously. I love Michael C. Hall, but in that clip, he sounds like Foghorn Leghorn finally got over his stammer.

Damn it people, if you're going to go with a theme posting, at least be good at it. There is nothing wrong with ending a sentence with a preposition, so long as that preposition is not redundant. ASS.

I never thought the day would come when I would jump to the defense of William Joel, but "Only the good die young" != "The good only die young."

Brandon Flowers' intolerable yelp-singing
This guy is responsible for the over-inflated self esteem of so many terrible, terrible karaoke singers. Although, to be fair, it isn't hard for a drunk person to sing with exactly as much skill as in the original.

Somebody has to do it.
He has a wife, you know.

I Am Sam II: Dey Took Er Jerbs

Bruce Jenner's face
Does remind me of the leathery rind left on rotting fruit on top of the compost pile, so there's at least that connection.

Yes. Specifically Skeletal Lamping.

There was a rumor about a tumor …
If I recall correctly, the Kinkster was at one point college roommates with tower sniper Charles Whitman. So he writes from *experience*.

In my family, he was the only candidate for office we all ever agreed on him. My republican dad got "My Governor is a Jewish Cowboy" bumper stickers in his stocking that year.

It's available on Netflix, both in DVD and instant form.

Get your ass back to reddit, and keep your copypasta to yourself.

Careful, Banmar, it's only Tuesday and we're already running dangerously low on Sarah Jessica Parker jokes.

I've spent all of 8 hours in NYC, but forced my friends to run to CBGB with me. We had about 35 seconds to spend there — just enough time for a shot of bad tequila before we had to jump back on the chinatown bus to Philadelphia. Altogether disappointing, but that was mostly the circumstances.

Sheltie, I read your parenthetical as "and fisting". It made me sad that my beach trips are, apparently, pretty tame.

I grew up in Texas, which is how I know that Acme is the official brick of the Dallas Cowboys.

My monitor is dying, so I'm genuinely confused as to what the chippette with the sunglasses is doing. But it looks like she's fellating an eggplant.

In defense of the LA frame story, it does include a nice little hat-tip to Infinite Jest (an aside about a guy sticking his head in a microwave).

Jared Leto squandered all the goodwill he got being beaten and axed when he decided to make offensively generic screechy music.

Love you like a milkshake.