Customerssuck.com has killed many hours along with any hope I had for humanity. It's hit or miss — a lot of posters aggrieved that someone, I don't know, didn't recognize their beauty as a precious snowflake — but there are some good stories in there.

Yes! Ran across it a few months ago, and then spent a few days reading everything in the archives. Good stuff.

I had to abandon Jezebel long ago, due in equal parts to the self-congratulatory aren't-we-outrageous tone and the shrieking indignation they'd fall back on whenever someone disagreed with ANYTHING they said. It just wasn't worth it anymore.

Don Ed Hardy is actually a pretty well-known tattoo artist in the sort of old-school naval style (he studied with Sailor Jerry, IIRC) who decided that a successful career in one field wasn't enough, and now rakes in the cash for allowing some cheeto-skinned guy and a passel of apparently unpaid interns to sear our…

Do you like Bailey's?

The Tastiest the Food of Cook: where you someone eat it.

You know what? This doesn't deserve a State reference.
Congratulations, Hardees. You made balls unfunny.

I know you can walk on the water, but can you walk on this much beer?

I may actually enjoy the Clerks cartoons more than the movie. (This may be due to Clerks II souring me on the whole package — the cartoons, being cartoons, remain distinct and untainted.) Any time I go anywhere in a car, the following discussion must take place:

I'm actually going to be sitting these selections out, in favor of the Infinite Summer project (infinitesummer.org) — it starts on the 21st, kids.

I'll Be Damned: my mother used to tell a story about a woman in her lamaze class (when she was pregnant with my older sister) who named her daughter Placenta. For the record, my mother is the world's worst liar.

Bubblegum and taffy?

Is Turkeychipper one of her kids?

Britishisms
Lately, everything that should be in a British accent is, in my head, also in John Oliver's voice.

@Ricin Beans: Except on the weeks when the column is about coprophilia. And santorum might count, too.

Buying a flask
… is a way to tell the world that you're on the go. You're a busy man, with places to go, and sidewalks to drive on to get there.

Ah, but whither the Funky Bunch?

Especially Flea.

For anyone who hasn't seen it already, there's an awesome WW documentary, The Daddy of Rock 'n' Roll.

At least in Leaving Las Vegas, he dies.