I can't read, but movies are better than books.

SPOILER ALERT:
Zombies

I liked Burn After Reading, in part because it seemed like the whole movie was set up for two jokes (being the two scenes with the guy from Thank You For Smoking).

Ivy League Scholarship Review Board Member:

You tell that honky….

I have an emotional attachment to steamed rice.

Die in hell? No, SURVIVE in hell. After you die.

"I read about six newspapers a day and four books a day"
Oh yeah? Well try making four beats a day for two summers.

OWNED - ZMF

I thought the modern trend in memoirs
was just to make up the entire thing and sell it as the truth.

Band of AIDS?

In high school I was in a Spinal Tap style boy band called 'Celsius.'

I guess they wanted that way.

FINALLY!
Tell me why
it took so long

Agreed—this article displayed more evidence of in depth research than typical Hater fare.

Beck
is a scientologist.

Why this was picked:

Does "hot" modify "dog" or "shit"?

Strange phrase
Is "meets cute" a thing. I've been seeing and hearing this phrase lately, and I don't think I had heard it before about a month ago.

Thankfully we are in the sort of company, polite, that is, where I can safely vent frustration regarding the labor disputes at the jewel of my industrialist empire, the factory where we produce monocles, sparks, and lubricated horse cocks.