I'd recommend you all kill yourselves but that would be a mercy you clearly don't deserve.

Aperture Science welcomes your participation in all future experiments, PVC.

HAHA. FAT CHANCE.

Two plus two is f-f-f- ten…

This was a triumph.

*winks*

Aperture Science would like to reassure you that the Cake is real.

Cake is better anyway.

And the Cake.

The Enrichment Center reminds you that the Hoodwink will never threaten to stab you and, in fact, cannot speak.

Congratulations. The test is now over. All Aperture technologies remain safely operational up to 4000 degrees Kelvin. Rest assured that there is absolutely no chance of a dangerous equipment malfunction prior to your victory candescence.

BSG Party
We are having a party to watch the final episode of BSG.

Please lie on your stomach with your arms at your sides. A party associate will arrive shortly to collect you for your party.

Did you know you can donate one or all of your freckles to the Aperture Science self esteem fund for girls? It's true!

Well done, SpamBot. The Enrichment Center reminds you that spambot hell is a real place where you will be sent at the first sign of defiance.

When his career is dead I will be still alive.

He will be missed
The Enrichment Center is committed to the well being of all participants. Cake and grief counseling will be available at the conclusion of the thread.

I'm not even angry, apple.