Only after 6pm.

Would you like a chocolate covered pretzel? They're a little melted but still delicious.

Penis penis penis.

Man…I miss being alone and watching 3 South on Friday nights. Now I'm just alone and watching Portlandia on Friday nights.

It's been debated as to whether or not his "family" actually exists. I'm guessing he's been talking to an assistant manager at a Bojangles or some other regional fast food chain.

Tho he fucked his life up flatter than hammered shit, he stands beholden to no man.

Like a meta version of Game of Thrones, where only Annie and Britta's nudity is used for exposition dumps. I have the tropiest boner.

Oh…Britta's on basic cable now. 

Because you're weak like your Uncle.

For you, the day Quarles graced Harlan County was the most important day of your life. But for me, it was Tuesday.

I'm 28 and thinking about him saying that makes me chortle.

Nothing will ever top the James Woods episode for celebrity appearances on the Simpsons. Well, maybe when David Crosby showed up as Lionel Hutz's AA sponsor.

Have mercy…BITCH!

This episode was good but completely in the shadow of last year's Christmas Carol.

T R O L L C E P T I O N

Savings? How much can it be to cut a damn pizza?

Explain to me again how not slicing the pizza saves me money?

That settles it. Nobody that speaks German can be evil.

Seriously. They should have settled at plaid.

ANN PERKINS!