…to be followed by a staring contest between Marty Feldman and Jack Elam.

In what planet are these Jets #1.

She's a Scientologist, right?
Then doesn't Tom Cruise and his buddies have some kind of plan or textbooks she can buy for $25K that'll help her lose weight?

BUTT RAPE!

Mario Batali dressed like King Kong Bundy…is a scary sight.

@ I like hot dogs - yeah, those kittens are giant whores.

I think Ramsey's a bigger pussy than he makes himself out to be.

Fellow Mets fan here. I'm hoping the Yankees drop a massive ass-rape on the Phillies tonight, because I can't live another season with Phillies' fans bragging about how awesome their team is, while they celebrate a WS win by looting, rioting, punching horses, and raping kittens.

Wait. Elizabeth Moss is a Scientologist?

I dream of a steel-cage match…
…between Ramsey and Anthony Bourdain.

Scariest Movies, in my opinion, are…
…Weekend at Bernie's 1 & 2.

How dare you, sir? That scene in "Eagle vs. Shark" where he beats up that crippled guy who once tormented him? Fucking awesome!

I read that scene on a bus ride. I was so scared shitless, I nearly jumped off a moving bus.

Uh-oh. Does this mean Dieabeetus is gonna have to cut a bitch?

Or when Sigourney Weaver did the same thing with the Queen Bitch from "Aliens".

I have it from a reliable source that…
…the next DirecTV ad will feature Roman Polanski and Sharon Tate in a scene from "The Fearless Vampire Killers."

Saw that ad as well.

You're all wrong…
…but "Chuck Klosterman IV: A Decade of Curious People and Dangerous Ideas" was his worst book.

Tell me you kicked your sister in the mommy socket.

Show me a writer or an artist who didn''t hate themselves, and I'll show you Dan Brown.