Fun fact: "Lisa Loeb" is the LL in LL Cool J.

Willis is what they're talkin' 'bout.

I'm reporting all of you people to Karl Rove! Rush Limbaugh? Who's their go-to asshole these days?

I'm pretty sure the "whip your dick out" talk was sincere and everything else was ironic.

Wow. I thought seeing that would satisfy me but now I just want to watch a show where she does nothing but solve dolphin murders and she has to constantly communicate with them.

And don't forget the alliteration. All movies with alliterative titles are better than all other movies. Godfather? 2001? Fuck you; I'm watching Freaky Friday.

Why am I just now discovering that there's a movie where Andie MacDowell impersonates a dolphin at length? I've been wasting so much imagination.

We all comment like girls. If we were men we'd be out eating beef jerky, turning on ladies with vomit-inducing body spray and performing other actions seen during commercials on Spike TV.

Well let me tell you 17.59 things: Sometimes writers have to fudge to pad out one of their ideas. Like the Bible was originally just the 10 commandments, but then the publisher (God) was like "I don't think you have a book here, Jeff. Could you pad it out with a couple thousand pages of crazy contradictions?"

Touche.

There should be a Saturday Night Live sketch that's funny.

Yes. And the twist was that all Jews are Hitler.

Something good associated with the word "Twilight"? Preposterous.

And reviews of The Following.

You know what isn't "totes amazeballs"? Lil Susie's disregard for the English language. Today it's "amazeballs" and "cray-cray" and tomorrow she's pleasuring truckers for a plate of lukewarm flapjacks. Your move, Mr. and Mrs. Lil Susie's parents.

That's a shame. I would've loved to see her open a shower door and say "Thought you could use some company." Or secretly watch a couple have sex while she awkwardly rubs her body. Or… I should probably stop now.

You've never watched this show? Can we switch brains?

It's a by-the-numbers crime-solving show. I'd be disappointed if there wasn't a character called Sweets.

Personally, I'd love to watch the continuing adventures of Hank's wife.

He's always playing a man. In Face Off he played two men. Damn typecasting.