But in America? I was alive during this period in question and all of our local reporters had large ass recorders. Some slung them over their arms, a lot wore them around heir necks.

HAMBURRRRRRRRRRRGER

But that would just look stupid and leave my small, sensitive balls completely exposed.

Yeah, dicks certainly don't say a fucking cartoon character is a "sexy bitch", only cool non-pedantic non-dicks say that.

Hmmm….like on Wild n Crazy Kids??

Not around here. Google is banned at the AVClub office.

I love………..LOVE……..how you say someone is being "pedantic" and a "dick" but then you write shit like this.

But this isn't OBSCURE knowledge. This isn't nitpicky "in episode 19, during frames 14-29, you can clearly see that Superman has a green cape instead of a red cape" shit.

Come on, this is all you need to do as a poor high school student in a shitty school area: Fake your home address and get a job working at Denny's from 3pm-7am to pay for the private tuition. Duh.

Calm down? CALM DOWN? WHY I OUGHTA! [smashes pub glass full of iced coffee over head]

But they are suffering for their art, maaaaaan. You just don't get it.

When you say something like "A pre-presidential Nixon in 1983" you deserved to get called out on it. Go to Yahoo News with your bullshit.

Shit, really? So am I, then.

Stifle yourself, huhhhhhhhh?

"…but ma'am, don't you want to yell at me now? Remind me that you came from a "good family" and that you know the value of hard work? I'll bend over if you'd like to give me 40 lashes…"

Ha! Me too! He was a bartender that was (a) called in at 11am because another server was hit by a car in the parking lot at closing time the night before and (b) didn't expect to come in to work that day so he was hungover and went to bed at 8am that same morning.

Never going to fucking happen.

WATTSA MATTA, YOU NO LIKEA MY FOOD? [cries] PAULIE, HE SAYS HE DOESN'T LIKE MY PASTAAAA.

"Ey, palee, how about you shut the fuck up and stop dumping out all of these crotch droplings!"

Those fucking waitresses…ALWAYS WANTING MORE.