That fainting couch line made me laugh much harder than I thought it would. Thankfully, I am literally the only person at my job at the moment.

The Grammys are the Super Bowl of terrible awards shows.

The Grammys are the Super Bowl of terrible awards shows.

Those "vagina dentatata sluggy things" are one of the only things I remember from KING KONG. They still freak me out so, yeah, legacy earned.

Those "vagina dentatata sluggy things" are one of the only things I remember from KING KONG. They still freak me out so, yeah, legacy earned.

I've never actually seen an episode of Pee-Wee's Playhouse, and sometimes I wonder if I'm a worse person for it.

I've never actually seen an episode of Pee-Wee's Playhouse, and sometimes I wonder if I'm a worse person for it.

It's cold comfort, but it does look like she'll end her career on one gorgeous-looking film with some (hopefully) gorgeous-looking special effects.

It's cold comfort, but it does look like she'll end her career on one gorgeous-looking film with some (hopefully) gorgeous-looking special effects.

"Hello, sir, I need a new kite… No, no, I didn't break it, it flew into a tree… Well, here's the thing, I couldn't just climb up and get it because the tree ate it… Yes, sir, a kite-eating tree. They're more common than you'd imagine… No, sir, I don't think I've ever gotten a concussion from playing baseball."

"Hello, sir, I need a new kite… No, no, I didn't break it, it flew into a tree… Well, here's the thing, I couldn't just climb up and get it because the tree ate it… Yes, sir, a kite-eating tree. They're more common than you'd imagine… No, sir, I don't think I've ever gotten a concussion from playing baseball."

"I was thinking, maybe if we coated the Chrystler building in bananas…"

"I was thinking, maybe if we coated the Chrystler building in bananas…"

Love multiplied by love divided by love = love

Love multiplied by love divided by love = love

I think we both know all that credit goes to McGinley.

I think we both know all that credit goes to McGinley.

"Light the lamp, not the rat! Light the lamp, not the rat! Light the lamp, not the rat!"

"Light the lamp, not the rat! Light the lamp, not the rat! Light the lamp, not the rat!"

Morbid child? Have I got a story for you!