Gotta make that shit punk as fuck!

Tony Randall… Mary Tyler Moore..

Poor Schwimmer, it's like it's not his day, his month or even his year. 

"Early on we were a little tight coming out of the posts and a little loose going in, we caught some lucky breaks, avoided the big one and had a good run to the end. There were a lot of other posts that could've won. I gotta give this one to my team, Bucky, Little Frank, Hungry Jim… WE DID IT BOYS WOOHOO"

I'm tellin' ya this Billy Squier kid is really gonna take off.

If only he would produce a Cyndi Lauper record my 80s and 90s worlds could collapse into one.

Outside of the members of X, and maybe Rollins, no one is worried about any X albums.

*Knows the Stig*
*Feels Unamerican*

We're already calling him "the" Bruce Willis?

Holy fucking CatShirt! 
Edit: Upon further review you sure can get a bunch of ugly shirts there, but that one is spectacular.

I'm pretty sure if you assholes had just watched Futurama none of this would've had to happen. Assholes.

The success of this film is actually going to allow them to do a Broadway play.

Um, it's still a fucking t-shirt right? And if he wants to bitch about it, why not just sell more of those t-shirts? Oh right, not that popular…

Dude, your girlfriend's not a loser just for turning him down…

Like, "Hey, it's my old buddy Jack Ruby, things are looking up for a change…"?

Look, I have to drive the motherfucker and if I want to sing it's my goddamned right… Put your dollar in the little dealy and sit the fuck down.

Bieber: the Pontiac of Pop Stars

It's the best 52 minutes you'll spend all day!

They're the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.

In related news, Local Man Yells at Cloud