Have you ever worn an elaborate necklace by Oliver Theyskens made entirely out of the ringlike anuses of minks?

Have you ever attended a Dionysian orgy wearing a Chanel gimp mask?

Perfect drug? I think not.
Have you ever been chased through the garden maze at your family's gloomy ancestral estate by a sword-wielding madman in the grip if The Horrors, desperately trying not to trip as you run like a gazelle in your 10-inch McQueen "armadillo" shoes?